Hard Sell by Piers Anthony

Author:Piers Anthony
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, azw
Tags: Science Fiction, General, Fiction
ISBN: 9780441317486
Publisher: Ace
Published: 1990-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

The presiding mortician of Deep Space Memorial Chapel was most solicitous. He

was dressed conservatively and nothing about him could be construed as offensive

to any conceivable system of belief—yet he carried about him the distinct aura

of afterlife. Fisk was reminded of the park statuary of the mausoleum.

Mr. Black asked only essential questions, and even these seemed to be largely

formality. Obviously the man had done spot research on Mr. Pontimer via the

population directory and knew what he needed already. Almost too efficient.

Mr. Black conducted Fisk to the tastefully carpeted selection room with such

finesse that Fisk made a note to emulate the technique for his own tours through

the mausoleum. The undertaker was obviously master of a trade Fisk was only

learning.

The room was filled with elaborate display coffins, each mounted at comfortable

elevation for inspection, each girt with dark cloth and with its lid lifted.

Some had bedsheets and pillows inside, and looked exceedingly comfortable.

"This is our Deep Space Trademark Platinum Memorial Couch," Mr. Black said

softly. "Solid copper foundation with genuine platinum impregnation inside and

out. You cannot obtain a more secure resting place at any price, Mr. Centers.

Seamless exterior, unit construction, noiseless hinges, foam rubber interior.

Available in Reclining Pink, Conservative Gray, and Forever Black."

Indeed, it resembled a padded treasure chest more than a coffin. Fisk had not

realized that the dead rated such considerate repose. But he couldn't help

asking: "Are you sure it's tight? The cemeteries require vaults—"

"The cemeteries are unnecessarily solicitous. This casket is so tight it can be

sent to deep space without leakage. If we can interest you in our special

Planetary Orbit Memorial—"

"Orbit?" Fisk hadn't heard of this.

"In the asteroid belt. Technically, the casket becomes a planet in its own

right, circling the sun forever until the Judgment Day. The bereaved can observe

it by telescope, drawing reassurance. A very fitting—"

"Uh, no thanks. Memorial arrangements have already been made."

"Very good." It was just as though the man had made no pitch to exclude the

cemetery, but Fisk now had an insight into the competition. Burial in space!

Perpetual Laser would have to keep on its corporate toes.

"About the cost—" Fisk hinted.

"By all means. This handsome couch is just eleven eighty-seven—a very reasonable

investment considering its quality."

"Eleven hundred dollars?"

"Eleven thousand," Black said solicitously.

"Eleven thousand dollars?" Fisk's jaw dropped. "For one box?"

Black frowned as though embarrassed by the client's ignorant outburst. "For one

superior casket, Mr. Centers, including the complete service, naturally."

"Oh." He should have remembered. The price of the entire funeral was predicated

on the casket. Fisk began to wonder: Was he out of touch? Was the price in

order? "Just what do we get with this cof—this casket?"

"Conveyance of the loved one, preparation, display in the slumber room, memorial

service—all accomplished with tact and simple elegance by our experienced

personnel. We take care of all legal details and records, of course."

"You mean there will be no additional charges at all?" Actually, it was no more

than the cost of plot and vault at Perpetual Laser....

"None by us, Mr. Centers. Unless you wish us to supervise the floral tribute,

musician's honorarium, burial site and similar details."

It occurred to Fisk that Mr.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.